Have you ever been in love before?

Most people will answer this question with a “yes” without an ounce of doubt in their minds - but have they really been in love? 

The kind of love that makes you glad all the others didn’t work out. Where you knew you’d be incomplete without the other person, a deep longing to spend the rest of your days together. For better or for worse. 

If I’m honest, I don’t think I have experienced this kind of love. I’ve been infatuated with someone before, wanting to spend every minute with them and loving the feeling they gave me - but I’ve always loved being on my own, not have someone be dependent on me. Whenever someone tells me they can’t live without me or I’m the reason they’re happy - it makes my skin turn and only wants me to push them further away. 

What is love and where is it?

Am I just a broken record as this point, where the needles keeps digging in deeper and deeper - changing the tones by the second and breaking the record? Or have I just not found what I’ve been looking for yet? 

Just me, a cup of coffee, and a thought I can’t shake.

What’s yours?